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Bath Salts and Other Household Items That’d be Great Drug Names

Ahhh, bath salts.

Those delightful, fragrant, fizzy water-soluble products that one may add to a bath. Though the term “bath salts” might connote peace and relaxation to you and me, the same term is also nickname for a recreational drug that contains—-and I encourage you to say this five times fast—-methylenedioxypryovalerone. Apparently, the latter form of “bath salts” has been blamed for a series of recent zombie-like, cannibalistic attacks, including a supposed drug user chomping off 80% of a homeless man’s face in Miami.

Ahhh, bath salts. 

I’ve compiled a list of other products you might find in your house that could pass for some GREAT drug names. Drug lords, take note.

  • Bath salts
  • Leave-in conditioner
  • Antiperspirant
  • Q-tips
  • Wrinkle cream
  • That plug at the bottom of your tub that stops the drain
  • Cream bleach for that hair on your upper lip
  • That hair on your upper lip
  • Nose hair
  • Unibrow hair
  • Tweezerman
  • DVD copy of “She’s the Man”
  • Blu-Ray
  • Blu Cantrell
  • Z100 - New York’s Hit Music Station
  •  The Station Agent, starring Peter Dinklage
  • Or am I thinking of The Last Station, starring Helen Mirren and Christopher Plummer?
  • Oscars
  • Snubs
  • Slugs
  • Tubs
  • Bath salts 

Wow. After that list, I think I’m just about ready for a party. Someone bring The Last Station. I’ll bring the riesling.