Hey errybody! This Latrell, Lavene, Lebron, Lucious, Lacrosse, Latavier, Lactaid Jackson, and you be readin “That Shit Cray”. Today on “That Shit Cray”, Gregory Carlson, a resident in Pulaski County blew off his hand and suffered burns when his cannon—yes i said “cannon” detonated prematurely. The ambulance took him to the hospital, and deputies who went to the residence found burned flesh, a finger and a blood trail. Carlson says he was loading the cannon when it went off unexpectedly.
So after reading this story, I looked at my calendar to check the year. Upon confirming that it is indeed 2012, I asked myself “WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS MAN HAVE A CANNON IN HIS BACKYARD?!!!” Have you seen a live cannon in your lifetime? Cuz I sure only seen them in museums and history books! I’ve been to a lot of backyards over the last 25 years, and NONE of my friends ever had a fucking cannon lying around. And what the fuck was he loading it for? Did the neighbor’s dog shit on his lawn again. Take this man to the hospital, and then take his ass to jail.
My grandma use to always say, “A man with a cannon is up to no good!” Grandma, you ain’t neva lied! That Shit Cray!