July 25, 2012

Kim Blanck

This year, Ramadan – the Muslim month of fasting – began on July 19 and will end on August 20. During all of these days, Muslims refrain from eating, drinking, and having sex with their partners until sundown. It’s supposed to teach Muslims about patience, humility, spirituality and submissiveness to God. Wow … this sounds like a wonderfully Eat Pray Love kind of adventure. I love Elizabeth Gilbert, so even though I’m not Muslim, I’d like to participate and see what I learn!

Tuesday, July 24

9:00 am. – I am doing GREAT. The sun is shining, and I wasn’t bogged down by a heavy breakfast of eggs and bacon and toast. And since I’m alone, I didn’t have anyone around to have sex with. I’m feeling lightweight and great.

10:06 am. – This is super wonderful. I feel like a real Muslim! I wonder if there’s a mosque in Prospect Heights that I can go to.

11:17 am. – Um … okay. I’m feeling a little bit hungry. 

12:06 pm. – If I eat something and no one’s around to see it, did I still eat it?

1:03 pm. – I can’t move. Otherwise I will eat something.

2:18 pm. – Why are the rules so that I can’t drink, either? I’m parched! Why does this happen in July while it’s so hot??! 

3:01 pm. – … maybe I’ll be skinny after this?

4:36 pm. – [Sweat and saliva stains on page]

5:23 pm. – Give me something to have sex with. I am so hungry and angry.

6:46 pm. – All I want is some meat on a plate. Meat on a plate. Meat on a plate. AGAIN: why does this happen in summertime when the days are so long??

7:09 pm. – Give me a protein shake! I want to have sex with a protein shake!

8:17  pm. – SUNDOWN.  [The rest of this page is unreadable. It has been eaten.]

8:23 pm – Okay. I’m headed to Shake Shack. I’m gonna grab me a burger, a milkshake, and a custard thing. Oh, and anyone, anyone at all to have sex with.

…

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