August 4, 2012

Emma Tattenbaum-Fine

Flossing.  It simply cannot be avoided.  If you don’t floss, you will lose the bone that holds your jaw together, a situation aptly called, “bone loss”.  My dentist showed me an X-ray of my jaw.  It looked pretty average to me, but he explained that I had lost about 3 mm of bone.  Imagine you’re a tiny bacterium… 3 millimeters of bone!? That’s like a thousand Christmas dinners!  Like 2,000 Chinese buffets!  So much eating has gone down in my mouth, and not just by me, but by the microscopic bacteria that hang out in my gums.

I’m so grossed out and so discouraged.  I thought that because I use a fancy electric toothbrush and use mouthwash twice a day, I could kind of cut corners on flossing.  Not so.  Even though FLOSSING IS THE MOST BORING ACTIVITY OF ALL TIME, you have to do it.  Simply have to.  If you have a lot of tartar from crappy genetics (not your fault! …not my fault!) you should floss twice a day, aka all the damn time.  Aka, just shoot me in the face, I hate flossing.

My philosophy has generally been that, because I live a thrill-seeking and eventful life, it’s okay for me not to floss… as in… I would rather spend those two minutes living large… in some way.  I have generally felt that I was justified in not flossing because… well… I’m fun?

My dentist did say, “Hello Gorgeous” when he walked in the room though, so it’s not like… I’m completely disgusting.  I’m just… missing some bone.  

No biggie.  

Actually it’s kind of a huge deal and I’m pretty freaked out.

Should.have.flossed.when.I.still.had.my.whole.jaw ahead of me.  Now it’s all about damage control from here on out.

The upside is that it is incredibly painful now for me to eat a Snickers bar on account of gum recession and exposed nerves!  Yay!  Health!

You should floss.  K?  Bye.