August 19, 2012

Kim Blanck

Last Wednesday, passengers on an Air France flight bound for Beirut were asked to help pay for fuel when the plane was diverted to Syria. A statement from the airline confirms that “it asked passengers if they had cash, as payments for fuel can only be made in cash in Damascus.” 

Political Subversities has uncovered an audio recording of the incident and has transcribed it here:

AIR FRANCE FLIGHT ATTENDANT (turning down the in-flight radio): Hey, guys. So I feel kind of awkward about this, but…

PASSENGERS: Hey! Why’d you turn that off? Turn it back up!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Hold on a sec.

PASSENGERS: Yo, man. I’m hungry. You still got those Sun Chips back there?

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: I just have peanuts.

PASSENGERS: Ughhhhh…fine. Anything. I’m fucking starving. Let me know when we get to Beirut, because I wanna find a Wendy’s. I’m going back to sleep.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Okay, fine. But first. Listen, guys. You know I wouldn’t be asking you this if shit wasn’t tough right now…are you awake?

PASSENGERS: No.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: C’mon, guys. Okay, so…we’re gonna get to Beirut but we have to stop in Syria because of some shit that we can’t control. Security shit. But we’re gonna need to get some more gas in Syria, so…are you awake??

PASSENGERS: Ugh. Yeah, man.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Okay. Fuckin’ A, dude. Just gimme a sec. So, Damascus only accepts cash for gas. It’s sketch, I know. But anyway. Can you guys throw in a few bucks for the gas?

 PASSENGERS: What?? Give you gas money? We’re on a plane, right?

 FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Yeah, it’s a plane.

 PASSENGERS: Dude. We already gave you guys like, 400 Euros to take this flight in the first place!

 FLIGHT ATTENDANT: I know. I’m really sorry, guys. Like I said, if shit wasn’t so tight…

 CAPTAIN (over the intercom): François, please return to the flight attendant station. We’ve figured out the cash situation. Jackson was going to buy his wife some knockoff Christian Louboutins when he flies to China later this week.

 PASSENGERS (tittering, suddenly speaking in French): Alors. Que stupide américain. Ils sont si pauvres. (Continuing to titter)

 CAPTAIN (over the intercom): So he’s gonna front us the money for now. 

 FLIGHT ATTENDANT (loudly, in response): Okay. Thanks. Sorry, guys. Go back to sleep. You still want those peanuts?

 CAPTAIN (over the intercom): Are there any Sun Chips??

…

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