August 30, 2012

Emma Tattenbaum-Fine

You’ve seen her before and you’re about to see her again.  This Christmas, Leslie Mann reprises her role as “crying wife/mother/girlfriend” in the new Judd Apatow film, “This Is 40”.  Nobody knows how to be an endearing and vulnerable “wife/mother/girlfriend in a Judd Apatow film” better than Leslie.

However, one— and by “one” I mean “me”— can’t help but wonder, what would happen if Leslie Mann was in a movie where she fought wolves and then wore their skins?  She’s such a powerful actress after all and so easy to idolize….

Or what about… Leslie Mann goes deep-sea exploring and pulls poisonous sea urchin spikes apart with her teeth?  Or Leslie Mann in Cast Away (replacing Tom Hanks)?  What would Leslie Mann do in a giant explosion sequence, running to take cover as a fury of handmade bombs sputter nails and debris in her direction as she runs in slow motion engulfed by a halo of fire?  One can merely wonder.  

How would Leslie Mann fair in a movie without men or in which men, such as the charming and ubiquitous Paul Rudd, didn’t carry the main storyline in which Leslie is just an accessory?

Oh but… she’s so good at getting age-discriminated at for being “old”.  Nobody cries as vulnerably and touchingly as Leslie Mann when she turns 40 or is prevented from entering a nightclub.  Nobody does “(Hollywood) over-the-hill” like Leslie, who is miniscule with perky tits and is shown in this trailer doing a back-flip on a trampoline.  So… old.  

But still “one”… “me” can’t help but wonder how she’d look spearing a fish or beating her chest and shouting in her squeaky voice, “I MADE FIRE!”  … 

Then crying, of course.  Over a man.  For old time’s sake.