Hurricane Names That Would Actually Reflect American Culture
September 1, 2012
Kim BlanckThe World Meteorological Organization, which assigns names to the hurricanes that form over the Atlantic, hasn’t seemed to catch onto the fact that the United States of America is no longer a whitewashed land of blond-haired Britons. Hurricanes Charley, Vicky, and Bonnie? Arthur, Bertha, and Wanda? Dolly, Jerry, and Karen?? What are these antiquated names that NO ONE is named anymore? Isaac? Come ON. The last time anyone was named Isaac was between 1997 and 2003, when there existed the great Hanson. And the time before that was the Bible.
For the convenience of the World Meteorological Organization, I have compiled a list of names for future hurricanes that I believe represent the fifty United States more appropriately.
- Hurricane Angel
- Hurricane Bella
- Hurricane Cassidie
- Hurricane DeShawn
- Hurricane Ernesto
- Hurricane Fabio
- Hurricane Habeeb
- Hurricane Imani
- Hurricane JWoww
- Hurricane Kaleigh
- Hurricane Luis
- Hurricane McKayela
- Hurricane Nicolas
- Hurricane Precious
- Hurricane Sybrina
- Hurricane Taye
- Hurricane V
- Hurricane Yin Jiao Shang
You’re welcome, Hurricane Habeeb. You could’ve been Hurricane Hortense.
