September 27, 2012

Cyndi Perczek

My friend told me she saw a man run into the streets with a giant net, catch a bunch of pigeons, laugh maniacally, and take them into a van with him. After the story, she waited to see a look of shock on my face but all I said was, “Good for him. He got himself some dinner.” All the color left her face. “I called 411 to report him. How can you say that?” she said.

Ok, here’s what I have to say to that:

NYC has recently been awarded the honor of being Top Dirtiest City in the US. 

This is due to:

1. Rats that look like cats chillin on every corner of this damn city.
2. Chicken bones lining the streets like décor.
3. Our fantastic trash system where people leave fart infested furniture outside their door.
4. Prostitutes in front of every deli in Manhattan.
5. And YES……PIGEONS.

If we help get rid of one of these things and give a guy some free dinner in the process then we’re making progress. Am I right? Oh, come on. Don’t at me like that.