Dear Cast of Political Subversities,

 

I’ve heard the rumblings, the insults, I’ve seen your judgmental stares when her name gets brought up, and it needs to stop right now! Contrary to popular belief it wasn’t Morgan Freeman that inspired me to become an actor, it was Amanda Bynes’ portrayal of Ashley on SNICK’s “All That”. As a little black boy in Queens, when Amanda Bynes graced my television screen for the first time one special Saturday night in the early nineties, I said to myself, “Damn. I want to be a white girl too.” Amanda deserves unwavering respect and reverence from all of us, and until you give it to her I too will speak to inanimate objects, smoke crack in my car, lock myself in dressing rooms or bathrooms of local bakeries for hours while firefighters threaten to break down the door, and I’ll get into at least 3 parked car accidents a week. I too will follow in the footsteps of Lindsay Lohan, in a desperate attempt to break away from my mediocre childhood success in hopes of becoming a “real actress”.  I stand with Amanda Bynes, and I will not rest until you all recognize her for the lackluster, half ass, bland, boring, not even close to being a tour de force entertainer, that she is!

 

Sincerely,

BGOODMAN