An Open Letter to Jessica “Timberlake”
Dear Jessica Biel (now Timberlake),
I hope you had a great wedding day. I hope you danced to the 98 Degrees song “Give Me Just One Night (Una Noche)”. I hope your ripped abs enjoyed the 600-calorie buttercream frosting from your 10-tiered wedding cake. I hope your feet hurt from so much dancing with your new husband.
But just know - you have inherited an entire generation worth of enemies. Girls ranging from 18-28 now DESPISE you and your new last name. Many of these girls wish you a very short marriage, one filled with People Magazine worthy scandal and betrayal. We hope your uterus is dry and cave-like, unable to produce an heir to the Timberlake fortune.
I am among those girls. If you even THINK of hurting our beloved JT, you’re out of here.
Sincerely,
Tweens, Adolescents, Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz, and Twenty-Something Females all across the world
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sashafoto likes this
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kenziekinz09 reblogged this from floacist and added:
I’m cackling.
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floacist reblogged this from politicalsubversities and added:
Girl stop and speak for your thirsty self.
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politicalsubversities posted this







