Dear Jessica Biel (now Timberlake),
I hope you had a great wedding day. I hope you danced to the 98 Degrees song “Give Me Just One Night (Una Noche)”. I hope your ripped abs enjoyed the 600-calorie buttercream frosting from your 10-tiered wedding cake. I hope your feet hurt from so much dancing with your new husband.
But just know - you have inherited an entire generation worth of enemies. Girls ranging from 18-28 now DESPISE you and your new last name. Many of these girls wish you a very short marriage, one filled with People Magazine worthy scandal and betrayal. We hope your uterus is dry and cave-like, unable to produce an heir to the Timberlake fortune.
I am among those girls. If you even THINK of hurting our beloved JT, you’re out of here.
Tweens, Adolescents, Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz, and Twenty-Something Females all across the world