Mitt Romney’s Texts with Bain Capital in 2002
July 16, 2012
Matthew Robert Gehring
Articles tagged "campaign"
The Presidential Sing-Off
July 14, 2012
Shaina TaubThe Obama campaign recently released its latest attack ad, featuring Mitt Romney painfully warbling “America the Beautiful”, as factoids about his holding of offshore accounts and outsourcing jobs overseas are flashed on the screen.
I know it seems like Obama was trying to diss Romney’s personal wealth – his alleged millions of dollars hidden in Swiss bank accounts and tax havens in the Cayman Islands. Sure, it appears as though Obama’s main jab with this attack ad is to challenge Romney to give out more information about his own finances by releasing his tax returns, and prove that he’s too fiscally shady to be an apt POTUS.
But we all know what’s really going on.
OBAMA IS CHALLENGING ROMNEY TO A SING-OFF.
Just listen to Mitt suffer through a relatively simple melody such as ‘America the Beautiful’. His rhythmic flubbing of the iconic first line, his lackadaisical phrasing on key heightening lyric – ‘above the fruited plain’. And worst of all, he is almost a HALF-NOTE FLAT on the triumphant refrain, ‘A-MERRR-ica, America.’ I mean, policy aside, can we really have a prez with such inexcusable intonation?
As we all know, Obama is a consummate vocalist.
His natural vibrato, soulful delivery, lilting tenor and MASTERFUL up-riff on ‘i-in lo-ove with you’ and tonal grace are CLEAR indicators of his ability to lead the free world. How smart of him to drive home the DIRECT connection between vocal prowess and leadership ability with an attack ad featuring Romney’s pitiful crooning.
History proves this point…
Bill Clinton – EXCELLENT musician, excellent president:
George W. Bush – WEAK singer, WEAK president:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VNIw1hDNVE (This is so embarassing for America that embedding the video has been disabled)
As the race speeds up this fall, I look forward to the presidential sing-off heating up as well.
With Steven Tyler leaving his spot as a judge, American Idol’s ratings would sky-rocket if they hosted a presidential vocal debate! (You’re welcome for that idea, Ryan Seacrest.)
All I’m saying is they each better choose veeps who know how to harmonize in thirds.
After all, if we’re pitchy, then the terrorists win.
More Like Barack ObaMURDERER
July 7, 2012
Matthew Robert GehringBarack Obama is on a tour of battleground states and Friday morning passed by an Akron, Ohio diner, where in cold blood, he murdered a woman. THIS IS A TRUE STORY: Josephine “Ann” Harris, the owner of Ann’s Place Diner, died after Obama stopped in for bacon and eggs. The official report is a heart attack, but COME ON!
An Open Letter to the Person Running Obama’s Twitter
June 4, 2012
Matthew Robert GehringDear Sir or Madam;
It is with a heavy heart that I write to you. Though I try again and again to ignore your general bitchiness, it strikes to often for it to be ignored. President Obama, the candidate of “hope,” “change” and moving our country “forward,” must not actually read his Twitter feed, for if he did, he would notice how much he is sounding like an bitter teenager.
Who are you? Dwight Schrute? You sound like you are the prototype of a nerd in a Model UN debate and Romney is the cool kid. Barack Obama is the coolest kid - act like it.
Who are you? Glenn Beck? Where did these conspiracy theories come from? ”Shadowy conservative groups” - we’re not living in a Marvel comic, we’re living in a world where Fox News is on everyday telling people how horrible Obama is - nothing “shadowy” about it. And I’m sure this tweet on May 30th had NOTHING to do with meeting your May fundraising goal by May 31st, did it?
And, to top this all off:
