March 27, 2013

Janani Sreenivasan - Guest Writer

In addition to being a crucial day in American family law – the
day California’s Proposition 8 went before the United States Supreme Court
- March 26, 2013 was also one of the most extraordinary days ever recorded in the history of
Western visual art.

The logo of the LGBT lobby Human Rights Campaign, or HRC,

awed by the prospect of marriage equality for all couples, and longing for the as-
yet-unexperienced wonders of the marriage bed, felt a gentle, pinkening flush of
virginal desire.

Over the hours, the logo encountered much loving support, and some bitchery.

“You look like a robot with a unibrow,” said some.

“You look like a pair of sad, lonely beds,” said others. “You look like an electrical
outlet. Why are you so focused on marriage?”

The logo reflected. It considered the criticism from radical queer communities of
the mainstream LGBT movement’s hyperfocus on marriage and family structures
favored by heterosexuals. The logo wondered whether gay marriage truly
represented progress for all, or would simply reinforce structural inequalities
between those who chose marriage and those who did not.

Its mind began to bend.

Mark Rothko, on a vacation from the underworld, stopped by with his paints.
Unaware of the logo’s inner turmoil, and enthusiastic about the day’s events, he
began to touch it up to his taste.

On second thought, mused Rothko, taking out more colors, why not
marriage between more than two people?

The logo, now a little exhausted from these revisions, began to wish the day
would end. But its journey was not over yet. Attracted by the logo’s notoriety, and
sensing an opportunity, a major company came calling.

“We have a perfect record with the Human Rights Campaign,” it whispered. “Let
us fix you up a little.”

Curious, the logo consented.

Upon looking in the mirror, the logo felt feelings it had never felt before:

Confidence.

A sense of arrival.

The pleasure of having sweet curves.

It flexed and turned a little, and its reflection changed to this:

And the logo found itself good.

Meanwhile, the green square representing the plight of Hollywood’s visual effects
artists, so popular just a few weeks before, sat in a corner, trying to think of a
way to get back in the limelight.

But as hard as it racked its brain, it could think of only one place it might fit in:

…

February 22, 2012

Michael R. Jackson - Guest Writer

Recently, television actor Matt Bomer came out as gay after years of speculation about his
sexuality. For this we applaud Mr. Bomer because it took tremendous courage for him to do
that in a world where we have to watch New Jersey Governor Chris Christie set the stage
for his likely 2016 presidential run by denying thousands of LGBT folks their equal rights to
the various miseries of marriage or listen to Rick Santorum use his diarrhea-prone mouth to
compare homosexuality to bestiality.

It should also be noted that because this adds to the staggering number of high profile men
to come out in recent years (and I’m going to homosexistly™ limit my discussion to men
because bisexuals have Cynthia Nixon, “trannies” have Chaz Bono and who cares about
dumpy ‘ol lesbians—#amiriteladies?), I’d like to address a seeming epidemic that this trend
exposes. Namely: WHERE MY UGLY GAY GUYS AT?!?!? Since I’m fat and ugly and
destined to die alone surrounded by my 7 cats, this is obviously a hot button issue for me. I
bring it up because every time one of these guys comes out, it always just so happens (tra-la-la!
) that they look like they’ve come not so much out of the closet (from where I crawled like a
cockroach) as much as they look like they’ve come out of the seancody.com barebacking scene.

Exhibit A-Z: THESE GOOGLE SEARCH RESULTS

And to top it off, they’re always so goddamn nice. And smart. And humanitarian. And not to
beat a dead horse but smoking hot(t) with their Kenmore electric washboard abs, dental-porn
smiles and big butt-sexy brown eyes plastered all over the television, big screen, and internet.
Who am I talking about? Matt Bomer, Zachary Quinto, Neil Patrick Harris, Anderson
Cooper, Dustin Lance Black and the list goes on and on.

I suppose an argument can be made for the relatively groundbreaking homeliness of Clay
Aiken but if you google him long enough (and who hasn’t by now #amiriteladies?) you’ll
stumble upon his underwear modeling (ex?) boyfriend’s basically 10 inch dick which by
my estimation, cancels that all out. And of course it goes without saying that all of these
people are white which completes today’s portrait of the “out and proud” gay man with the
exception of say, Ricky Martin and oh, I don’t know, Don Lemon (of CNN fame), who,
because it’s Black History Month I will begrudgingly acknowledge is also really hot in that
Senator Harry Reid-light-skinned-no-negro-dialect-child-molestation-bravely-chronicled-in-
a-memoir kind of way.

Anyway, I love all of these people. Generally. This is not really about denigrating our
oppressively hot gay men because in the end, no matter how much pleasure I’d take in
slicing up their pretty little faces with a piece of broken glass, they are doing the very

important work of bringing greater visibility, attention, and compassion to the diverse
problems facing LGBT people in this country. At least I hope they are or else I’m going to
have to kill myself.

All I’m really saying is that we need more gay male Chewbaccas! We need more Barney
Franks! We need more cutting edge AIDS researchers who cry themselves to sleep every
night when guys “check them out” on OKCupid but never send a message because their
profile pictures cause mirrors to shatter into a million pieces! I, personally need someone
I can look up to as I struggle to be a 30-something perennially single, broke-ass gay, black
man working a dead end job while looking desperately for love in the most competitively gay
city in the world knowing that since I’m fat and ugly, I’m destined to die alone as surely as I
know that even in death, my aforementioned 7 cats will each have hot, super fit boyfriends
named Ryan at their sides as Dan Savage and Steffani Germanotta presents them with
GLAAD Media Awards for their unfailing commitment and dedication to preventing the
suicides of white gay teenagers all over the United States.

…

Michael R. Jackson holds a BFA in playwriting from the NYU Tisch School of the
Arts’ Dramatic Writing Program and an MFA in Musical Theatre Writing from the
Tisch School’s Musical Theatre Writing Program. As a songwriter, he has seen his
work performed at Merkin Hall, The Barrington Stage Company, The Laurie Beechman
Theater, The Triad, Ars Nova, Joe’s Pub, The Metropolitan Room, The Bruno Walter
Library at Lincoln Center, and ACT in Seattle. He wrote music and lyrics for the short
musical Childhood Sweethearts with playwright Jonathan Marc Sherman for the 24 Hour
Musicals to benefit The Orchard Project and worked as the bookwriter/lyricist on the
musical Only Children with composer Rachel Peters courtesy of the Tisch School of the
Arts Undergraduate Drama Department at NYU. Check him out ON FACEBOOK and ON YOUTUBE.

November 18, 2011

Todd Dakotah Briscoe

OUT Magazine just released its annual list of the Top 100 LGBT People.

Not the most powerful.  Not the sexiest.  Just the “top.” 

So is there a separate list for the bottoms?

Haha, no, no.  I make bad jokes.  But there is something about this list that has left me a little perturbed. Namely: I’m not included for the 7TH YEAR IN A ROW! 

I say 7 years because I came out in 2004, though I was probably eligible in 1997 when I purchased my first Spice Girls album.  

The OUT 100 Magazine list includes some very important LGBT people such as activists Larry Kramer and Chaz Bono, artists George C. Wolfe and Dustin Lance Black, politicians Thomas Duane and Mark Leno.  

Well, I’ve had like 5 jobs this year.  Doesn’t that count for anything?  I don?t put what my mother calls my “special qualities” into one project.  I spread this fruitiness around. 

Even Rupaul’s Drag Race winner Raja made the list.  Look into my eyes and tell me that we?re not on the same level of fierceness.  I am serving some ZomBEA Arthur realness here:

Fine.  Raja wins this one 

Now, Dan Savage was included on this year’s list, presumably for his amazing work in creating the “It Gets Better” project.  

Well, I didn’t create an “It Gets Better” project.  I didn’t create any kind of project, but I did refer to one of my friends as a closet case behind his back, and maybe that will get back to him and he’ll think, “Oh, yeah.  Todd’s right.  I’m gay!”

So, yeah.  I’ve done MY part.  

 Lauren Mollica, Brian Pendleton, Chad Goldman & Yigit Pura were also included.  I don?t even know who they are and they’re on the list.  I mean, I was on TV!  

 Well, screw OUT Magazine.  I’m making my own list. 

Todd’s queens of the year: