It’s cute, you know. Men try to understand. Boyfriends try to be empathetic to their sugar-honey-pies’ cramps and moodiness. But the fact of the matter is, men will never ever ever ever ever understand what this once-a-month internal bludgeoning of the body feels like. They will not understand why you are eating peanut butter straight from the jar. Cake to the face. Pie to the eye. They will not get why you are crying about how incredible Barbra Streisand & Robert Redford were for each other in The Way We Were, even though you watched that movie 5+ years ago. Friends and co-workers will not understand why you are keeled over or sitting in the position of a beached-whale. Guys, my uterus is literally shedding. So just give me a break.
My body was designed so that a living, breathing fetus could come out of my vagina.
How about yours?
3. Chocolate and/or Cheese
If you ever go to a girls’ slumber party, pot luck or get together (esp. somewhere between ages 17 to 36), there will always be an abundance of one of these things. If not, then they are probably aliens dressed as women. If I had a nickel for every time I found myself sitting on the floor with a bunch of women circled around a block of cheese and a baguette, I would be…well, richer than I am now.
Men seem to have no gauge for women who are secretly conniving or a little bit bitchy (i.e. Anne Hathaway). This is something a little bit difficult to articulate, because it is just something that a woman senses. Kind of like a Spiderman spidey-sense, this is like a Woman woah-you-might-be-a-bitch-sense. Granted, many women are over-sensitive and overly-territorial to other women. But I like to think that the majority of women I know are relatively level-headed and kind. But I could be wrong. In which case, I myself may have no spidey-spense when it comes these things. Even still, I think a low to average level of woah-you-might-be-a-bitch-sensibility is still higher than the average male. Please note: no concrete research has been done on this case-study / paragraph. #makingblanketstatements #science
See Stephanie and the rest of PoliSub live this Saturday night at The PIT in NYC! Click here for more details.